One mama’s viral post about her failed birth plan is a powerful truth about the goal of the birth process, and how unique it is for every woman.
Samantha Joy is a 33-year-old Identity Coach who lives with her partner Gabe in Denver, Colorado. The first-time mom recently blew the Internet up with a post that’s now gone viral about a failed birth plan. She’s sharing how she’d crafted the.perfect.birth plan and what it meant when her actual birth process happened.
Joy shared that she’d spent hundreds and hundreds of hours reading books, exercising and practicing techniques that help give her baby the optimal fetal position when being born. She studied and practiced hypnosis and had a plan she felt was 100% foolproof and would be executed perfectly.
She said she pictured it as the perfect birth, knowing that a woman’s body was created to go through the process. Her personal belief was that trusting her body and her baby was the most important factor to a smooth delivery process, and that the introduction of medical intervention would hinder that. She says that being a smart, educated and researched woman, she put together a fail-safe plan.
Until labor came about. She was able to labor as planned at home until she got to be about 5 centimeters dilated. Her doula, Geneva Montano, helped her through the process until she felt Joy and the baby would be best served at the hospital with their midwife group. Joy says that she felt that her birth plan was still going to end up being executed beautifully, and she labored in tub as she let her body do what it was made to do.
Except she had a harder time than she thought. She pushed and pushed as she felt the need and was directed to, and she really didn’t know how long she pushed because she didn’t have clocks in the room (part of her birth plan). It turns out that she pushed for nine hours and finally her midwife suggested that the baby might need some extra attention. It was then that they called a doctor in for a consult.
Although Joy said she originally insisted that she wanted no traditional doctor intervention, she was overwhelmed with the respect for her and her carefully planned birth plan. She says that all of her ideas about doctor intervention in the birth process were shattered by the gentle and respectful way the doctor worked with her and helped her make decisions best for her and her baby.
The new team together decided an epidural might help her body be more relaxed and allow her baby to get to a better birthing position. Three hours later, though, and the baby began to show signs of distress. The very thing that Joy had tried her hardest to avoid from the start of pregnancy through the labor was a c-section, but it turned out she recognized that was the best decision for the baby and for her. She said even though it was completely opposite of what she decided was best for them, she felt proud to be making the right choice for them in that moment.
One week ago, I birthed a healthy baby boy And not in the way I ever pictured it.I spent months intricately crafting…
Knowing she’d done everything she could to be as unmedicated and natural in giving birth as she could, she agreed to a C-section, which led to the delivery of her beautiful son Landon Hail. Landon had trouble breathing, and even the delayed cord clamping had to be put off because he needed to be attended to immediately.
And that was when Joy realized the ultimate goal of the birth process: the baby arrives safely and lives. She said she realized that outcome was the perfect birth, regardless of the plan, and she wanted to share her experience for so many mommas who feel like failures when their birth plans don’t go as they hoped.
The post went viral, with mothers everywhere sharing they also felt shame and guilt in their birth process, and were thankful for the validation that they were not failures, nor did their bodies fail them.
Happy Birthday to our little man, Landon Hail Uhrig ❤️ Although our birth plan went nothing as planned, we couldn’t be happier bringing him safely into the world. Life will never be the same
Joy says that even though her perfect plan went differently, the acceptance that she held the power to feel pride and gratitude over her son’s birth made it a perfect experience nonetheless, and helped her remember the true goal of the birthing process.
Photos: Samantha Joy/Facebook
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