This woman has officially crowned herself the worst bachelorette attendee ever
Have you ever had a terrible bachelorette party experience and wanted to hide under your covers for several weeks after? Prepare for your wedding trauma to be outshone by truly the WORST bachelorette attendee ever. A woman emailed a list of very, very stern rules involving religion, sex, and alcohol to the rest of the guests involved. Prepare to roll your eyes alllll the way to the back of your head — this is truly something.
Imgur user UrsulaIMeanVanessa posted a series of screenshots from the email and explained that the woman hadn’t even been invited on the trip in the first place. “She threw a giant fit until the bride finally [invited] her, the next day the bride and all 17 other females invited to the bachelorette party received this email. Sender is NOT the bride,” the post read.
Okay, deep breath and let’s begin. First off: the woman acknowledged that the group was headed to Las Vegas, aka “sin city,” but there would be zero sinning happening on the trip. “I have some ground rules that I’d like everyone to follow,” she wrote. “These will not only help me remain aligned with the Church, but also keep us all out of trouble.”
Image via Imgur
Image via Imgur
Image via Imgur
So, let’s break this all down. There will be zero hard liquor because the woman doesn’t want to be “tempted” by “foul drinks.” Also, she doesn’t know how she’ll react to vodka, rum, or tequila (each of which she put in quotation marks as if the drinks only allegedly exist). Forget about the fact that bachelorette parties are literally built on hard liquor and also maybe the bride-to-be WANTS hard liquor, damnit.
There’s also no sex allowed in the hotel suite. Nor any men at all. Because people really love being told that they’re not allowed to have sex and also that it would sinful if they did engage in said sexual activities. Also, no drugs. “Drugs bring nothing but problems,” the woman wrote. “[Name redacted] please leave your adderall at home. I understand you have a medical condition, but as we will not be studying, there’s no need for you to take your methamphetamines.”
Oh yeah, and then everyone is instructed to head to church that Sunday. Zero regards for everyone’s religious beliefs or that fact that, once again, maybe the bride doesn’t want to spend her bachelorette party at a church.
Unsurprisingly, this email made it to Twitter courtesy of @clapifyoulikeme and was torn to shreds.
Wedding shaming blogs are a gift to us all. pic.twitter.com/r6P8PmePna
— Abby Spice (@clapifyoulikeme) April 17, 2019
With any luck, one of these bridesmaids with security clearance works for the NSA and can get Taylor on the No Fly List ASAP.
— Bree Juarez (@bdoody11) April 17, 2019
she seems very christ-like
— “Celia” (@_celia_bedelia_) April 17, 2019
“WE WON’T BE STUDYING SO YOU DON’T NEED YOUR DRUGS”
“I FOUND US A CHURCH”
“SEND ME MONEY”
SHE’S NOT EVEN THE BRIDE
drop her off in the middle of the desert and LEAVE HER THERE
— Jaylee James Gaven (@thewritingj) April 17, 2019
I really hope someone just replied “No.” and nothing else.
— SBaker (@Teevell09) April 17, 2019
Here’s hoping that all seventeen women spend the entire party drinking all the “vodka,” having sex with a whole bunch of rando men, and then maybe, just maybe drinking some “tequila,” and skipping the post-bash church services while they’re at it.
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