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But before you pull the trigger, Hassler urges you to consider your motives carefully. Maybe just go on a healthy vacation instead.

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More often than not, they're considered mere stepping stones en route to something more "serious" or, worse, as evidence that someone has commitment problems or even low self-esteem.

Long read: how to have a healthy summer fling | psychologies

She lingered and told me she was Australian and had been travelling in Europe. Are you mindful of protection — how to keep safe physically, mentally and emotionally? They gave me a pep talk, but I still felt nervous, stumbling over my words and turning red. It was the timing, the fantasy and knowing it would end that made it so special.

I now believe that we have different soulmates throughout life; and Alex was exactly what my soul needed that summer. And if you get lucky? Because of her, I felt alive again; brave enough to be open and vulnerable. Take some advice from these powerful women on how to stay safe and confident in the bedroom. She seemed adventurous and spontaneous — nothing like my ex.

I was dropping Alex home after a day out in Brighton. End things gracefully The definition of a fling is that it inevitably ends—and Hassler has a foolproof way to create closure. True romance The first time we kissed, I felt like a teenager. I knew I could do it. Where are you in your life?

Looking for a summer fling? here’s the *healthy* way to have one

But before you pull the trigger, Hassler urges you to consider your motives carefully. What are your intentions? What do you want? As an exercise in awareness, write down how you want to explore a new connection, sensuality and sexuality.

Flinf you feel steady, with sufficient resources to open up to the idea of a light and fun romance? Do you feel secure about healthy fling The good old-fashioned fling has a bad rap. As we explored coast and countryside, I felt like I was seeing my home through fresh eyes, with a spirit of adventure. Knowing it could only be a summer fling meant we seized every moment — heading off on unplanned trips across the country, dancing all night like nobody was watching and spending long, warm evenings on the Kent Downs.

Are you meeting your core needs for connection and fun? Then, we hugged, turned to each other and kissed. Where are the boundaries around that?

I realised I could step out of my comfort zone, take risks — and enjoy the ride. I worried that she was simply being friendly or had a partner but, without hesitation, she offered me her. Most healfhy — and it sounds trite — but have fun! We could live in the present, and it was truly freeing.

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Later that evening, we bumped into each other again. I really liked her and, when she said her UK visa expired soon and she would be moving on, my heart sank.

Maybe just go on a healthy vacation instead. Later, when I started to date, I remember feeling nervous, yet sure of myself. My six-year relationship had ended the year before — a slap in the face that I had not seen coming — but, to my surprise, I loved having time to myself and relished my freedom.

5 women on the benefits of having a casual fling

Even very short-term, casual attachments can force us to be present in the moment and even helping us work out what we want from long-term partners. My romance with Alex was raising me up, helping me regain my spark and teaching me that I could, one day, trust and uealthy again. Be clear and upfront. We may be in healthy fling age of no-strings Tinder hookups and increasingly aware of the physical and mental health benefits of sexbut many people still turn their noses up at fleeting sexual relationships.

If your relationship with yourself is good, you know that you can always come back to you.

But her leaving taught me that I could be with someone, watch them go and still be happy. Do you want to spend a short time together?

I drove home feeling light, cheerful and like I was getting my confidence back. Before our meeting, I was so anxious I nearly bottled it — but I forced myself through the door and we spent the evening laughing. These impermanent relationships — whether they're one-night stands or last for weeks or a few months — are rarely considered valuable in and healthy fling themselves, but that may be misguided.

Later, I texted my best friend. I told my friends I thought she was flirting with me, but it had been so long since I had dated, I had no idea what to do! I also met up with a few couples who told me about the stresses of buying houses, commuting to London and various relationship hiccups — and I felt lucky.

Begin Slideshow photographed by Erika Bowes. We messaged for hours that evening and agreed to meet at an open mic event later in the week.

I felt prepared; ready for the excitement and ups and downs of helathy. Was I was getting in too deep? Our paths had crossed at the right time but were going in different directions. The fear was gone.

Summer fling: how to have one in a healthy way | well+good

Look up wheelofconsent. Just before Alex left, we went to a festival in Cornwall. Spending time being single helped me reconnect with myself, but feeling desired and jealthy again boosted my selfesteem. But that can backfire, says Hassler. We sat in my old banger for an awkwardly long time, dragging out our goodbyes.